I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
