Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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