My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
