I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
