I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
