It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
