Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
