Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
