Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
