I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
