I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
