It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
