Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
