How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have aggressive nipples.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
