Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
