I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
