i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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