That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
