Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
