we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
