If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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