if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
