at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
