I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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