everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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