i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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