Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
