A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
one two three fourrrrnication!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
