He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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