did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
