This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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