New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
