Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
