I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
