Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
