Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
