Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
