Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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