The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I smell like Dick and happiness
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