Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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