I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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