I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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