i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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