I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
