She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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