I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
