I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
