She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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