I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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