just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
